Book Club Discussion Pt. 1: The Voice in My Head is a Jerk

Join us for a dialogue of the primary three chapters of 10% Happier by Dan Harris

The voice in my head is an asshole. Dan Harris and I (and I’d wager to guess, lots of you) have that in widespread. On any given day, at any given time, the (typically) imply woman that inhabits my mind could be discovered whispering not-so-candy nothings in my ear: “your thighs are too massive”, “you’re not ok,“, “these pictures suck“, “what you simply stated was suuuuper awkwarrrrd“. These ideas and others of their ilk are my secret disgrace they usually plague me every day; whereas they’re not all dangerous, I’d say nearly all of these ideas span anyplace from disparaging to downright impolite. And I’m telling you about them, as a result of till I learn Harris’ account of comparable conduct, it by no means occurred to me that different individuals may additionally be experiencing the identical factor. This was my first ‘whoa’ second of this e-book.

The second was this sentence within the preface: “Some assume they want melancholy to be artistic or compulsive fear to achieve success.”

If you learn January’s guide membership choice, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, your thoughts may additionally be blown proper now. The ethos behind that thought is definitely an enormous a part of Gilbert’s ebook, and what drew me into 10% Happier past the preface. I assume in a whole lot of methods we’re taught that life is a wrestle however, whereas there’ll all the time be troublesome points, Harris and Gilbert and people who got here earlier than them are on the market to show us that issues don’t need to be fairly as painful as we typically make them out to be. One half memoir, one half self-assist extravaganza, 10% Happier provides us a entrance row seat into Harris’ thoughts. If you’ve watched footage of the breakdown he references in chapter M, Air Hunger, the breakdown that was chronicled on stay TV and which set him on the trail that led to this guide, it appears far much less dramatic from the surface wanting in. Just a man who perhaps was feeling beneath the climate that day. But isn’t that all the time the case? We can by no means really know what goes on within the minds of these round us. Everyone has their battles, everybody has skilled trauma not directly. Maybe you’re not a warfare correspondent coming nose to nose with the Taliban, however that doesn’t make your stresses and traumas and realities any much less legitimate. We’ve all been there not directly or one other — we’ve all had our personal model of Harris’ on-air meltdown.

I nonetheless keep in mind mine, at the very least the primary main panic assault I had. I was in school and at an artwork opening at a gallery with some pals. The place was full of tall and delightful, inventive individuals and somebody checked out me humorous after which everybody was taking a look at me humorous. Except, in fact, they weren’t (till I was the woman crying within the hallway for no noticeable purpose – then they have been undoubtedly taking a look at me). Amid the gang and paintings and having overlooked my buddies, I had by some means satisfied myself that I was the odd one out and had a complete and full meltdown due to it. Looking again, I know the whole lot that transpired was because of that overly crucial voice in my head, whispering that I didn’t belong.

While I haven’t skilled a panic assault of that caliber in years, I do generally tend to overanalyze and will relate to a whole lot of what Harris describes within the first chapter, particularly in relation to being overly crucial of oneself and perhaps being a bit too aggressive, all the time going, going, going, not permitting myself to decelerate and catch my breath.

Moving into Unchurched, the second chapter of 10%, I as soon as once more felt comparable kinship with Harris, although I’m ashamed to confess it. As somebody from a secular background, I’ve all the time discovered it troublesome to narrate to my religious buddies and people with extra spiritual… gusto. This is what makes Harris’ perspective so distinctive — as a reporter, he’s taught to be curious, to delve into what he’s been assigned, no matter private curiosity. As readers, we will solely profit from this. I recognize that Harris doesn’t draw back from the troublesome questions and chooses, ultimately, to see the higher takeaway from his conversations with Pastor Ted. There’s all the time one thing to glean from the individuals we work together with, all the time a chance for discourse. Rather than arguing, Harris asks questions, one thing we (I) might stand to do extra of. He learns, we study. The greater image turns into clearer.

In Genius or Lunatic?, chapter O, Harris goes deeper into the religious world, whereas concurrently battling his personal demons. How many occasions have you ever stood within the proverbial airplane toilet, obsessing over one thing minuscule, as Harris does within the opening pages? We have hangups, that factor that we deem a profession killer or inevitable horror. We fear, typically an excessive amount of, have our personal variations of the inaugural proceedings. But the factor that the majority struck a chord on this chapter was the thought of getting one foot prior to now, and one sooner or later, none within the precise current. I imply, yeah. I consider that we’re largely taught to assume on this means, to glorify the previous, to fetishize nostalgia, whereas concurrently working to be our greatest selves and striving for the longer term and dreaming huge. But… what about now. Like, proper now? I’m extraordinarily responsible of this, of dreaming of the subsequent place I’ll stay in and the home I hope to personal at some point and even simply counting down the hours till the weekend. Turns out, dwelling within the right here and now (and appreciating it) is quite a bit more durable than continually daydreaming of the longer term and reminiscing on the previous. As Harris continues to search for solutions, so do I, and I’m wanting ahead to diving in to the subsequent three chapters subsequent week.

Discussion questions:

+ Could you relate in any respect to the voice Harris describes in chapter B?

+ What do you consider Harris’ strategy to Pastor Ted and different religions? 

+ Are you responsible of dwelling an excessive amount of prior to now or future? Why do you assume we, as a tradition, tends to behave this manner?

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