What Wentworth Miller’s Depression Says About All of Us
Wentworth Miller first turned extensively recognized for his seems in a Mariah Carey video, after which by means of the starring position within the 2005-2009 Fox collection “Prison Break.” But regardless of possessing nearly every part that is valued in American society immediately–fame, magnificence, cash–Miller’s life wasn’t straightforward. Perez Hilton and comparable weblog bullies posted pictures of Miller strolling and driving in automobiles with homosexual actor Luke MacFarlane (who had a starring position as a homosexual character on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters”). Along with these photographs have been, for lack of a greater phrase, accusations that Miller was secretly homosexual. Miller responded by denying his rumored sexuality, which is all the time a lose-lose proposition for anybody within the public eye: doing so most of the time solely fuels bloggers’ fixation on outing a star, whereas additionally giving everybody permission to accuse the superstar of being anti-homosexual.
Miller ultimately got here out by way of an open letter revealed on the GLAAD website in 2013.
For many LGBT individuals–and I am no exception–such obvious hypocrisy conjures combined emotions. On one hand, it may well really feel like an offense to our nature to witness somebody deny his or her sexuality, as a result of doing so implies there’s something shameful about it. On the opposite hand, all of us (or no less than these of us of a sure age) perceive how troublesome it’s to be trustworthy about who we’re when society general condemns our natures, and the braveness it takes to go towards a tradition needs to be amplified exponentially for somebody whose personal life is fodder for tabloids.
If an individual has to do a mea culpa for denying his or her sexuality, Miller’s 2013 speech to the Human Rights Campaign is a robust template. Heartfelt, real, and so confessional that it is onerous to observe, Miller’s speech describes cultural pressures that made it troublesome for him to simply accept his sexuality–however he got here to phrases with it will definitely, and within the course of struggled with extreme melancholy and suicidal ideas.
A central a part of that speech offers with group:
I’ve had a sophisticated relationship with that phrase, ‘group.’ I’ve been sluggish to embrace it. I’ve been hesitant. I’ve been uncertain. For a few years I couldn’t or wouldn’t settle for that there was something in that phrase for somebody like me. Like connection and help, power, heat.
Ultimately, Miller accepted that he’s a part of the LGBT group–which could be a heat and accepting place–it needs to be stated–particularly for somebody who’s conventionally engaging. Gay or straight, many males are keen to simply accept a reasonably package deal.
But what occurs when fairly turns…nicely, common? This morning on Twitter, I noticed a narrative detailing Miller’s response to a fats-shaming weblog publish evaluating aspect-by-aspect pictures of Miller shirtless in his “Prison Break” heyday after which in 2010 at his heaviest, burdened by the evident weight of melancholy. In his response, Miller discloses that he was suicidal on the time, having struggled with psychological well being challenges all through his life.
The similar story seems in UK LGBT journal Attitude, adopted by a telephone quantity for a suicide hotline, adopted by a hyperlink to an article (truly only a assortment of pictures) referred to as “Wentworth Miller’s Hottest Moments.” It’s in all probability pointless, however I’ll simply take a second to level out the (typical) irony of an LGBT publication following a narrative a few homosexual man being pushed to suicidal ideation partially by being shamed for his physique with an article celebrating the person’s physique when he was in higher form.
This is the place, for me, group is every thing. I’ve written about it earlier than and I’ll write about it once more so long as I have a platform, however homosexual males need to discover a solution to respect different homosexual males for greater than appearances.
Communities make their very own monsters.
Many of us have been upset once we learn final week that homosexual nation singer and underwear model (whom I’d by no means beforehand heard of) Steve Grand claimed victimhood for being a “younger, good-wanting, white homosexual” man. The purpose for offense is not jealousy; it is as a result of we all know that conventionally fairly individuals are prized and handled as royalty by the homosexual tradition, and simply as it might be human nature to provide preferential remedy to those that are conventionally engaging, it might be human nature to resent Marie Antoinettish hypocrites who need to have their cake, eat it, too, and all whereas complaining about not having sufficient of it.
We need to do higher as a group. For each Wentworth Miller who is gorgeous and powerful sufficient to beat deeply seated melancholy anchored in disgrace about sexuality and look, there are numerous bizarre, plain, obese, non-male-model varieties who’re equally human and equally deserving of respect. It’s not politically right to say so, however I’m removed from the one homosexual man who feels that, as Lamar Dawson wrote yesterday, “some homosexual males [watched] Mean Girls and took it slightly too significantly.”
When we take into consideration the disturbingly excessive charges of suicide amongst LGBT individuals, we are likely to affiliate the melancholy that results in it with bullying by straight individuals. This is its personal type of homosexual denial. I comprehend it and also you in all probability realize it, too, even when Steve Grand, Davey Wavey and the ghost of Marie Antoinette will stay eternally oblivious.
We — homosexual males — want to have the ability to take a look at chubby Wentworth Miller and see by means of the packaging. We want to have the ability to take a look at scorching Wentworth Miller and see by way of the packaging. We have to relearn what it means to be absolutely human, to take a look at Joe Average and perceive that the pores and skin and muscle are solely the ornamental containers for hearts and minds that include deeper, extra rewarding types of magnificence. People in different strata of society — albeit not these featured on the Bravo community — worth these invisible elements of what it means to be human. Maybe we should always, too.
If you — or somebody you already know — need assistance, please name B-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you’re outdoors of the D.J., please go to the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of worldwide assets.
Mental Health Depression Queer Voices Wentworth Miller
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