Driven to Make a Change: A Trans Woman’s Spiritual Journey
This article was written by Caitlyn Jenner and Chandi Moore for WhoSay as a part of an on-going unique collection that explores points and other people within the LGBT group.
Chandi Moore is a rock-star in our group. She will knock your socks off with the sheer pressure of her character and coronary heart for these round her. When I have struggled with my transition, Chandi has been there to remind me of what it means to have internal power — typically with laughter (please lookup her horse escapades) and different occasions with actual speak.
No transition is straightforward, however when Chandi says she “will get it,” she’s had the experiences to again that up. She shared a few of her life story on I Am Cait, however I need to give her the ground to share extra about her journey and the work she does now.
Without additional ado, I cross the baton to my pricey colleague and trans advocate, Chandi Moore.
Growing up, my household and I have been in church each time the doorways opened. We used to say we went to church “from Sunday to Sunday.” Even although I did not understand I was transgender as a child, I nonetheless knew I was totally different. When I was sitting in church, I used to really feel just like the sermon was all about me — directed at my “sins” particularly. I heard that my way of life was not turning into of God, and it was very arduous.
After some time, I started to consider that God did not love me and that I was a nasty individual. I fell out of contact with Him and made some decisions that landed me in a spot I by no means anticipated to be… jail. As I informed Cait, I had written some dangerous checks and accomplished some bank card fraud.
In detention, you’ll be able to’t make selections for your self. You need to rise up when somebody tells you to rise up. You should bathe once they say it is okay. Everything’s out of your palms. You have management over nothing. It’s horrible.
My turning level occurred on Thanksgiving or Christmas when I was sitting within the jail yard staring out of the fence. I realized that I was in a spot the place I wasn’t going to have any of my mother’s cooking for the vacation and I wasn’t going to be with my household. Plus, I was watching all these individuals get launched from jail solely to return proper again, and I did not need that for my life.
In that second, I advised myself that when I received out of there, I was going to do one thing with my life. And I stored that promise to myself.
It took so much for me to get again to a constructive area. I occurred to catch a sermon on TV one morning, and it actually spoke to me. I realized that God did love me. After all, God knew who I was earlier than I did. So how might I assume that he did not love me, when he made me?
I wasted no time. As quickly as I acquired out of jail, I went to make-up faculty inside every week. I was completely critical. I didn’t need to be that statistic, like lots of people. I knew that my life was meant to be one thing extra. I by no means thought that I’d be working with prevention or serving to different trans individuals. I by no means thought any of these issues. I simply knew that I needed to love myself and do higher than I’d accomplished earlier than.
Now, I work with trans and gender non-conforming youth, ages 12 to 24, at a challenge referred to as C.S.D.J.T., which is a program to scale back HIV transmission. We educate younger individuals about why they need to get examined and the way they need to speak about it with their households, pals, and — most significantly — companions. We even have psychological well being remedy and medical providers. It’s like one-cease shopping for LGBT youth.
Working with younger individuals is essential to me as a result of this can be a inhabitants that does not have a voice. People are all the time making selections on behalf of them, as an alternative of for them, and that is what’s fuelled me to grow to be a voice for the youth. They are the longer term and their voices must be heard.
It’s not all the time straightforward to maintain going. When I assume I’m at my worst, I understand there’s another person on the market who’s doing far worse than I am. I take into consideration all the women who’ve been murdered in our group merely for dwelling their lives and for being who they’re, and the way grateful I am to be alive. That’s what retains me grounded and motivated. That’s my cause for dwelling my life to the fullest every single day.
For extra info on the transgender motion, see an inventory of assets at CaitlynJenner.com.